The Fake Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
by jasonc65
Summary: The McKenzie children enter a closet and find themselves in Narnia, but they find out that they are not in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, but a parody. The Lion is fake, and it is not clear what side the Witch is on.
1. The Closet

Warning: once again, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe will be parodied. This may be silly, but as much as I've loved C S Lewis, one thought has always nagged me. Oz has good witches, Prydain has good enchantresses, and Middle Earth has Galadriel, but what about Narnia? There are good magicians, and a woman can be an evil magician, otherwise known as a witch, but can a woman be a good magician? Yet considering how many critics Harry Potter has, maybe this isn't such a silly question after all.

-

The McKenzies were very much like the Pevensies. They were four children, named Pete, Suzie, Ed, and Lou. Pete and Suzie were, of course, short for Peter and Susan, and they had been so named because their parents were Narnia fans. But by the time Ed was born, their mother wanted a little variety, so he wasn't exactly Edmund, but some other name for which Ed was short, perhaps Edwin or Edward. And I don't know what Lou could be. Their uncle happened to be a professor of apologetics at a Bible college in the Philadelphia area, and he had a mansion. The day came when neither parent could take care of them, so after a long drive along a traffic-infested freeway, the children arrived at their uncle's where they were to stay while their mother was on a business trip in LA and their father was serving in the war. And while they were playing hide and seek, Lou tried to hide in a coat closet. She soon found herself in a thicket in a woods in a world that was experiencing winter. "How like Narnia", she thought, for her mother had read the Narnia books to her at least three times. And sure enough, staring at her was a lamp-post, and a Faun was waiting to greet her.

The Faun said, "Hello, I'm a Faun, and my name is Mr. Thomas. What's your name?"

And Lou said, "I'm Lou. And You're Mr. Thomas. Now, don't you mean Mr. Tumnus?"

"No, I'm Mr. Thomas".

"But it sure seems a lot like Narnia, in which a girl named Lucy enters a closet and finds herself in a thicket next to a lamp-post in a woods during a 100-year enchanted winter and greets a Faun named 'Mr. Tumnus'. And I did in fact just enter a closet and find myself here".

"Well, you are in Narnia, but the Hundred Years Winter took place a long time ago, Aslan defeated the White Witch, and has not shown up since. What we are experiencing is just an ordinary winter, although it is a rather harsh one. In fact, last summer we had a drought and temperatures were in the 100's for more than a week. But I'm certainly not Mr. Tumnus the Faun. He died a long time ago, in fact not long after the Pevensies disappeared, as the rumor has it, right at this lamp-post where we're standing, while they were hunting the White Stag. But it's cold out here. Let's go inside so we don't get frostbite. And would you like some tea?".

"Yes".

While they were walking towards the house, Lou asked, "So your last name is Thomas. Like 'Clarence Thomas'?"

"I don't know this Clarence Thomas. Is he a duke or a prince in your world?"

"Well, he's something of the sort. My country is a democracy, and the President appoints Judges. It would be hard to explain. I don't think Narnia has ever experienced democracies or ever will".

"You're probably right, and you can't expect a Faun to know much about your world, either. But my last name is Thomas, and I do prefer to be called by my last name. I'm sure even in your world, people understand that."

"Yes, Mr. Thomas. And thanks for the tea. It was the best I've ever had".

"Now, say, you come from another world, the same world as the Pevensies, and you claim you already know about Narnia. How do you know?"

"Well, I've read all the Narnia books, starting with 'The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' ".

"Well, I see. But authors in your world often do write books about other worlds, such as Oz and Middle Earth."

"Yes. People in my family are C S Lewis fans and Tolkien fans".

"But you know there are so many worlds that have winter in some place at some time or another, including your own world. So how do you really know for sure that you're in Narnia. I know you said you entered a wardrobe, and found yourself surrounded by snow. But for all you know, you could be on a mountaintop in Oz, in which case if you just took a short walk towards the south, you'd find a magnificent view of the desert far below you".

"And how would you know about Oz?"

"There has been an influx of Mary Sues lately, unfortunately. Incongruities have entered Narnia, such as Talking Scarecrows, Talking Tin Men, Talking China Dolls, and Lions without a backbone. And the next thing you know, there'll be good witches. People do nothing these days but sit in cafes talking about other worlds that they've come from, and it has been making the political climate very unstable. Not long ago, I met an Elf who claimed to have come from the country of Lothlorien in the world of Middle Earth, and spoke worshipfully about a queen named Galadriel, who I thought sounded like a witch. She spoke of her as having magical powers, something called Elf Magic, but said that to those true of heart, she was kind. And she told me about how the Dark Lord had forged a ring of power so he could conquer that world, and how he was defeated by throwing his ring into a deep chasm. And she told me that Aslan is known in that world by the name of Iluvator.

"Anyway, you really don't know if you're in Oz or Middle Earth or Narnia, or some place in your world where they are having winter".

"But I know I am not in Oz, because you said that things like talking scarecrows and good witches are anomalies in your world. And I know I'm not in Middle Earth, because you said that the Elf's description of her world was frightening to you. Anyway, I've read the Lord of the Rings myself, and I know that Galadriel is not a sorceress, although some of the Dwarves accuse her of evil sorcery. And I know that I'm not in the North Pole of my own world, because there simply aren't Fauns in my world. And didn't you confirm that I'm in Narnia when you corrected me about the time in Narnia that I'm in?"

"Yes, indeed, I did".

"So at least I'm right about one thing. And the circumstances I'm in right now seem so familiar from the books I've read".

"But you can't expect history to just go off repeating itself exactly, just because you read it in a book. I'm afraid that the story you are in is not, 'The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe'. What you are in, I'm afraid to say, is a parody. You said yourself that your name is 'Lou', not Lucy, and you see that I'm 'Mr. Thomas', and not 'Mr. Tumnus', and that should be a tip-off that what you are in is a rip-off of the original story. The next thing you know, your brother will meet the Queen, and then all four of you will visit some Beavers while the Queen has requested to see me. But I'm afraid it won't feel like the real thing at all. While you are fleeing the secret police, you'll meet Santa Clause, but you'll find out that he's not real. I'm sure of that detail, because we have already celebrated Christmas this year, and the real Santa came and gave the children gifts and everything. It is now late in March, and we're having a late blizzard. But people are dressing up like Santa Clause anyway, and pretending it's Christmas, as an insult to the Queen. They are blaming her for this bad winter and the recent blizzard, and it's not really her fault at all. The worst of it is, even Aslan might be fake. There have been many spurious rumors that Aslan has been seen lately, but no one can confirm them. And they will be trying to repeat the sacrifice on the Stone Table, which is really a foolish thing to do, since once the old law has been abolished, there is no more need for sacrifice".

"I know. My pastor did a sermon on the book of Hebrews last Sunday, so it's drummed into me, now".

"Then therefore, I'd suggest you go home right now, so you can escape this abominable parody. I'm not going to pretend to cry because I was about to put you into an enchanted sleep and take you to the Queen".

"But surely the Queen will arrest you".

"I don't know what form that part of the story will take in this parody. Maybe I'll go to the Queen on my own initiative, in this case, so she won't have to arrest me. I don't believe all the conspiracy theories".

"What conspiracy theories?"

"I can't explain. People in the religious right think the Queen is a witch. They say that she's planning to make it always winter and never Christmas, just as the White Witch once did. They say she's opened the floodgates from other worlds such as Oz and Middle Earth, so that the illegal immigrants can come in. But it's just a rumor. I don't believe any of it. And you wouldn't understand".

"Oh, I can relate. In my own country, America that is, President George Bush has been a good President. But the liberal media accuses him of stealing the election and lying about another country possessing dangerous magic, so he could send the young ones off to a stupid war. And they are claiming that he's planning to cut social security benefits. And he narrowly won the re-election last year. And I know those are just silly conspiracy theories. The country we went to war with was a cruel tyranny. I respect my President, and I believe he's a Christian".

"So you see that you are in a horrible parody. You don't want to be at the Stone Table when a Queen who is falsely accused of witchcraft is in a showdown with a fake Aslan. It's very unpredictable what might happen. The Queen might expose the fake for who he is and have him turned to stone, which he rightly deserves. Or she might be taken in by him, beg him for mercy, and when she is mercilessly slaughtered after a mock trial, all hell will break loose. You wouldn't want to be part of it".

"But if your Queen can turn people into stone, then she is a witch, isn't she?"

"I was only using a figure of speech. Of course the Queen can't turn people into stone. Now, there are only two possibilities. Either the queen really is a bad witch, just as in the real story, only a bad remake of her, of course. Or the Queen is not a witch at all, but has been labeled one, because of the deceptive atmosphere of religious kooks and con-men who are anxious to see history repeat itself. But I think it's the latter".

"Or maybe she's a good witch?"

"You must be reading too much Harry Potter. There simply are no good witches in Narnia, unless some of these Mary Sues are good witches from Oz, but I don't think so".

"Well, it was nice talking to you, Mr. Thomas. I think I'll go home now and watch the Superbowl. It's the first time my home team has had a chance in a long time, and I hope they win".

And with that, Lou took off and made her way back to the lamp-post, through the thicket, and out of the closet. Ed popped in and said, "I found you! You're it!" And then he looked at her and added, "Why do you give me that 'Oh, I've been to Narnia' look? You know that's just fiction".

And Lou replied, "Well, it wasn't exactly Narnia that I found inside that closet, but a parody of sorts. The Witch isn't really bad, and the Lion is fake. And I hope I never go there again. Whoever wrote the story that I was in must be as bad as Philip Pullman".

"A Fake Lion and a Good Witch? Now, that's funny. Let's find the others and then go downstairs to watch the game with Professor. They'll be singing the National Anthem real soon. I want to see the Eagles win". 


	2. The Witch

The McKenzie children argued about what Lou had experienced throughout the game. "I can imagine a world inside a closet", said Pete, as Donovan McNabb threw an interception, "But a parody of a world which we are already familiar with through a book? That's weird".

"I just hope Lou is lying, as usual, said Suzie".

And Lou said nothing, as she knew that she had been a habitual liar, and that her story was not believable.

At halftime, while the game was tied at 7, they resumed their game of hide and seek. Lou was it. Ed hid in the closet, and Lou guessed correctly that he had hid there. But once again, she found that she was in the parody of Narnia from which she had escaped. She didn't want to go back there again. But she now knew that Ed had gotten into that world, too. Therefore, she had no choice but to look for Ed. Once again, Mr. Thomas the Faun was waiting for her. She told Mr. Thomas that her brother is now in Narnia. Mr. Thomas said that was bad news and began to weep, because he now knew that Ed would soon meet the Queen, and the McKenzie children would be inevitably dragged into a horrible parody of a good Christian allegory that was written by an author who had an ax to grind.

Meanwhile back at the ranch (and as Lemony Snicket once said, that expression is overused), Ed met the Queen. As he could expect, she was on a sleigh pulled by reindeer. And the Queen just smiled and said, "What a curious creature has just entered this realm. What, pray, are you? Are you some Mary Sue who has come into Narnia from Oz or Middle Earth or some other world that someone besides C S Lewis has authored?"

And Ed said, "No, Your Majesty, I'm a boy from the real world. And I really don't know what a Mary Sue is, Your Majesty".

And the Queen said, "I'm glad that someone has taught you manners, but you don't have to address me formally. You can just call me Gladys. Now, a Mary Sue is an illegal immigrant from another fictional world such as Middle Earth or Oz. Such a person, who may be male or female, only crosses worlds in order to cause trouble. He or she has not been bidden to come here by Aslan, Iluvator, the Unnamed God, or by whatever name the Creator of the worlds might be known. The rebels blame me for them coming here, yet I'm the one who outlawed them. I don't know who is practicing the dark magic that enables them to come, but if I found out who, and I had the power, I'd turn them to stone. And by the way, wouldn't you like to have something to eat? I don't exactly have Turkish Delight, but I'm sure I could conjure up something".

"I think a roast beef sandwich and a Coke would do me just fine, thank you".

"Then a roast beef sandwich and a Coke it shall be".

And with that, the Witch, if she really was one, conjured up what Ed had ordered. Ed sat down on the Queen's sleigh, and they talked. And the Queen asked them questions about where the boy had come from and what his family was like. When the boy explained that he was the second youngest of the four McKenzies, she gasped, "One, two, three, four! Just as I thought! I see what they intend to do to me. They have made up a parody of 'The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe', and they want me to star as the White Witch. And they must also have a parody of the prophecy of Cair Paravel and the four thrones ready to deceive the masses. How dare they!"

"Who is they?"

"The rebels. They blame me for everything. They say I make it winter. They say I've tried to cancel Christmas. I think I've been a good Queen, and that I haven't caused any harm, but they make up nasty stories about me. And if your sister Lou has met that Faun who has been looking out for children, curious to see if they might pop up at Lantern Waste, then she may have heard those rumors. Most Fauns, I'm afraid, side with the rebels. If I were you, I'd go home and never come back. It would be a horrible blasphemy to see a parody of Aslan's sacrifice at the Stone Table, and I sure don't want to have any part of it. And would you like another sandwich when you go?"

"No thanks. I think I've had enough food already. We've been watching the football game, and we've been eating ordeuvres all along. But I'm afraid there is no way to stop all four of us from coming here one of these days. My older two siblings haven't been here, and they won't believe Lou and me that this horrible remake of 'The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe' exists here. One day, the housemaid will get angry at us for something and we'll be forced to hide in the closet. I'm afraid that's fated to happen, because whoever is working this dark magic you speak of has been calling us into Narnia repeatedly and making sure it happens".

"Well, if it does, you are welcome to see me at my house any time. I will always be available. And since you've read the book already, you know right where it is".

"I know. It's between those two hills".

"Yes. But it won't look like you've imagined, because it's a parody of the White Witch's castle. So don't expect to see stone statues when you go inside. I think you better go, now. I wish you well".

So after exchanging goodbyes, Ed ran to the lamp-post and met Lou. Lou said, "Just as predicted, you'd be here, too. I'm worried that we are all going to be dragged into this blasphemy of a parody one of these days, and when it happens, there will be no escape. I suggest we pray against the evil influence that is affecting us. And I'm sorry I've been such a horrible liar until just recently".

Ed replied, "I'm sorry that I was such a Muggle that I didn't believe you. I should have known by that look on your face that this wasn't one of your lies".

So, in good parody fashion, the two younger siblings forgave each other, unlike their real counterparts in the original story. 


	3. The Beavers

As the Pats' offense was proving to be unstoppable and the Eagles were continuing to stink, the two younger siblings argued with the two older siblings about the reality of their shared experience in the closet. But even though Ed was known to be truthful, and Ed and Lou had forgiven each other after a fight last week, and Lou had not played any pranks since then, the older two siblings still did not believe them. And so it was during the Eagles' onside kick that the professor offered his advice. He recalled how Professor Kirke in the book had used the liar argument to try to convince the Pevensies that Lucy was telling the truth, and he noted how that argument is analogous to a popular Christian apologetic that is used to argue for the veracity of the Resurrection of Christ. In true Lewis fashion, he came to the conclusion that the two younger children were telling the truth. But since no resolution was being reached, he made the wise suggestion that the children should not go inside the closet or bring up the parody on Narnia again. In fact, he suggested they read a Harry Potter book to take their mind off of Narnia, and he promised not to tell their parents that they were reading a controversial book that according to one critic was promoting witchcraft. So while the children were disappointed in their home team losing 24 to 21, on top of their tension from being unable to resolve an argument, and while carrying a copy of "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone", they accidently knocked down a glass cat that the housemaid was sentimentally attached to (and you can be sure that Ed and Lou were glad it wasn't a Talking Glass Cat that had illegally entered Narnia and stowed away with them into their world). The maid lost her temper and chased the kids throughout the house. They ended up in the same closet that they had promised to avoid, and before they knew it, they had come to Ed and Lou's world.

Knowing that they had entered a parody of Narnia and not wanting to be part of it, they tried to retrace their steps. They walked back into the thicket they had come out of, but there was no inside of a coat closet waiting for them, but just more snow on the other side. This was one of the times when things that are sometimes there simply are not there when you want them to be, just as when the Pevensies had checked Lucy's claim and found only hard wood on the back of the wardrobe. Whoever had called them unwillingly into Narnia for evil intent had now closed the door on them, and they were trapped.

So now that magic stared them in the face, Pete and Suzie apologized to Ed and Lou for acting like the Muggles in Harry Potter by refusing to believe that they had had a magical experience, and they made off to see Mr. Thomas. But as the original story goes, the children only came to an empty house. They could tell that no one had been there for a long time, because the house was cold, and there was a note on the door. It read,

"Dear McKenzies, hopefully you have not continued your series of unfortunate events by coming all four of you here, looking for me. But if you are here, then let me tell you this. I am at the Queen's castle, helping her do some paperwork. I have told her all about you, and we have been discussing what to do about these evil-doers who are trying to bring people here from other worlds in order to bring down Narnia and the other worlds with it, and doing it in the name of Aslan. Please do not stop at the Beavers' house but come straight to us. The Queen plans to take you on her sleigh south to Archenland. From there, you should continue on to Calormen and try to get as far away from Narnia as possible. We think it is very dangerous for you to be here. It might even be necessary for you to be transformed so that our enemies won't recognize you. Signed, Mr. Thomas the Faun".

The children gasped as they read the note. Pete said, "So they've not only read Lewis, Tolkien, and Baum, but even Lemony Snicket? Our series of events certainly has been unfortunate! First, our parents have to go off on some business trip and serve in an inconvenient war, and we are missing them. Then we get caught in terrible traffic while we're traveling through Philly, and it takes hours to get to Professor's house. Then Lou discovers this awful tragedy that is happening in one of our favorite fictional universes. Then we watch the game and our team loses. Then we're all trapped here, and we find that the queen really is a witch who is considering transforming us. What are we to do?"

"Not only that", said Suzie, "But even before that, our country is at war, we've experienced September Eleventh, and people are not liking our President. And last Superbowl, they made a big spectacle of Janet Jackson".

"Well, those events are irrelevant to us now", said Ed. "We must do something, and I'd say that travelling to Calormen is a good idea, although I don't cherish the thought of being slaves in an Islamic-like society similar to what they have in the Sudan".

"But I don't trust the thought of seeing the Queen, either. Since we know that she has considered transforming us, we know she must be a witch", said Lou.

"But we don't really know that she's a bad witch", said Ed. "I know. I don't understand how there could be a good witch in Narnia like Glinda in 'The Wizard of Oz', but I don't wish to be led to the Stone table to be deceived by a fake Aslan, 'Last Battle' style, either".

"Then maybe we can go south by ourselves, and not meet the witch at all", suggested Suzie".

"But I don't think that's a wise choice. We don't know where all our enemies might be hiding in the woods. The Queen's castle is much closer, and we could be there by nightfall. The Queen would know the safe roads to take. So I think we'll just have to take our chances with the witch and hope she's good".

So the children resolved to travel north until they spotted the two hills where they knew from the book that the Witch's castle must lie. They folded up the note, inserted it inside "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone", and started on their way. They saw a Robin trying to nod to them to give them a hint to follow him. But they ignored him, figuring that in this version of the story, he was an enemy. Their path took them along a frozen river. But just as they passed a damn, a gang of Monkeys jumped down from the trees and grabbed three of the children, leaving only Ed free, who managed to run away. The Beavers said to the Monkeys, "Let the fourth one go. In order for our plans to work, we will need a traitor".

The trapped children shouted toward Ed, "Go on without us. The Queen must hear from us"-but were muffled by their captors.

The Monkeys dropped the children off at the house of the Beavers. The Beavers already had dinner waiting for the children, and fed them a delicious meal. The children asked the Beavers, "Since I know that in 'The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe' the Beavers are good and honest, why is it that you are acting like thieves?"

"Because we're rebels", said Mr. Beaver. "We are rebelling against the Witch and trying to persuade others to join our rebellion, and sometimes we must use force. Like the White Witch before her, she is planning on making it always winter and never Christas. She hasn't succeeded yet, but she's trying to. And so far, she has given us a horrible winter. It doesn't often snow this late in March. We think she has finally found the enchantment that will make it always winter, and that as March becomes April and April becomes May, it will not get any warmer, and we'll keep getting more blizzards. And next December, we won't have any Christmas. Think about it. We're about to have another hundred years of winter, unless we act now. But my friends say that Aslan is already on the move. He's been calling people from other worlds over here to fight for him, and he's called you from your world".

"But I'm afraid there's a mistake. I was told that this business of bringing people here from other worlds is not the work of Aslan, but something that some workers of dark magic are up to".

"That's a lie straight out of the mouth from the Witch. She's the one who made up all this Mary Sue nonsense. Mary Sues don't exist! Anyone with common sense should know that".

"But aren't some folks on your side blaming the Witch herself for these strange-looking creatures coming over from those other worlds such as Oz and Middle Earth?"

"Oh, there are some religious wackos who take things to extremes. But we're not extremists. And none of these visitors I've seen are strange. I know an Elf from Middle Earth who has joined our forces, and she said she'd be glad to use all the Elf Magic she knew in order to help us. And I know there are rumors of strange people, but I've never seen the Talking Scarecrows and what-nots that have been described, and anyone with common sense would know that any world that contains such creatures is merely the figment of the author's imagination. Such an author, having no inspiration and no direction to his work, doesn't know what he's writing about".

"Well, I guess I can't really say, because although I've watched 'The Wizard of Oz' on television, I've never seen the Scarecrow, or the Tin Man, or the Cowardly Lion, or the Good Witch of the South, or the humbug Wizard, and so far we haven't run into any of them on this strange adventure we've been having, but only heard rumors about them from people who are on the Witch's side and from the Witch herself. But if the Witch hasn't started the winter or abolished Christmas until just recenlty, but has tried for a long time as you say, how would you say she's ruled you up until just last year?"

"We all thought she was good. In fact, it never occurred to any of us that our Queen was a Witch. Sure, we knew she had some magic, but we never questioned its source. But recently some Centaurs have come with warnings and beseechings to beware of her, repent, and seek Aslan. They have reminded us that the Queen's own mother was Jadis II, and that she was as cruel a Witch as Jadis I. They pointed out that the Queen had killed her mother by her own magic. Also, when Witches are born, they have magic already in them. It's in their blood. They can't help but use it for evil. Since the present Witch is Jadis's own daughter, her magic has the same source, and it can only be evil. If you read the original story, you will recall that Jadis I was half Jinn and half Giantess. It is no different with Jadis II and her daughter. They too have an evil heritage and cannot help but to act according to their nature. Any appearance of having good intentions can therefore only be to deceive and lead astray. Ultimately, they want to make all of us their miserable slaves".

"But isn't it really a racist notion", said Suzie, "that one is evil because of what one is instead of what one becomes? That would be like saying all the black people in my world are evil. In fact, not long ago, before I was born, there were Christians who believed just that. They would say that Blacks were the cursed Canaanites, and made all kinds of harsh laws restricting their freedom. They formed the terrorist organization known as the Ku Klux Klan, which acted like highway robbers, murdering black folks wherever they could find them and burning their churches. And before that, they used to make them slaves. It is fortunate that people like Martin Luther King spoke out against that kind of crap. And now, you're saying that all albino women with magic are evil?"

"You know, I have never thought of it that way. But it really doesn't matter if there are any good witches, because we know that Jadis III is no better than either of her predecessors. Some of our forces used to work as her secret police, and they possess top secret information that is very embarassing to the regime".

"But if the witch is really evil as you say, then why would you let our brother Ed run off to her to tell us where we live? Why did you shout to your friends that you needed a traitor?"

"Because that's how it was with the first Witch. Four of you came here, and one of them was a traitor. It will surely be no different this time. We thought it best that the traitor be sent away before he could everhear anything. And Aslan will no doubt do what he did last time, making wrong right and restoring order and justice. But in order to do so, he will need to make sacrifice. Now, I suggest we get packing. We will need to be quicker than our forerunners, since the Witch will have read the books too, and she will already know where we're going".

While they were packing, Pete asked, "But don't you think it's silly trying to repeat Aslan's sacrifice? I know that in my world, Jesus made the perfect sacrifice that ended all sacrifices. Any continuation of the Jewish sacrifical system was an abomination, which God brought to an end with the prophesied destruction of the temple in 70 AD. Since Aslan is the name by which Jesus Christ is known in Narnia, then I'm sure that with his sacrifice, it's no different. There used to be a law in Narnia that required traitors to be killed in order that Narnia be saved from certain destruction. But one would think that that law has been abolished by the death of the Lion".

"I know it's a hard teaching, but I need to explain something to you. Last time Aslan came, it was to re-establish the human line that was to rule Narnia. Twice, Aslan has put Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve on the throne, and twice, they have failed him. The first time was at the Dawn of Time. The second time was after the defeat of the first Witch. Both times, people have lost faith in their kings, the kingdom has become corrupt, and an evil sorceress has conquered us. We have just now survived a succession of two evil sorceresses, a mother and her daughter. Therefore, Aslan must bring in a new dispensation, in which Narnia will no longer be ruled by men, but directly by the Lion himself. I'm afraid to say that you three children along with your missing brother will not be kings and queens. During the new age, it will be necessary to rebuild the Stone Table and reinstitute a system of sacrifice, and these sacrifices will be a reminder that Aslan once had to sacrifice himself for the good of all of Narnia, in order that the prophecy of Cair Paravel and the four thrones be fulfilled".

"That sounds a lot like what Tim LaHaye teaches", said Lou. "I have never been a fan of 'Left Behind', and I certainly don't agree with that teaching of the dispensationalists. But even LaHaye doesn't teach that Jesus himself will have to be resacrificed. This whole thing is getting ridiculous".

"But it is the new prophecy that we have been receiving from the Centaurs", explained Mr. Beaver, as the children and the Beavers walked out of the house and set off in the direction of the site of the Stone Table. "Surely, you do not question Aslan when he has given us new wisdom".

"But we do need to be on the look out for false prophets", Pete pointed out. "In my world, there are many false teachers who teach dangerous doctrine. We have TV preachers, for instance, who teach that faith is a force and that believers have equality with God. We've had Jim Jones, David Koresh, and the Jehovah's Witnesses. These teachers teach a different Jesus than the Jesus of the Bible, deny who he really is, and lead people into damnation. The same thing could happen to Narnia with respect to Aslan. I have read a book called 'The Last Battle', which describes a scenario in Narnia's far future in which one of Man's Alleged Ancestors misleads the Narnians by teaching that Aslan and the Calormene vulture-god, Tash, are one and the same. As a consequence of the deception, some of the Talking Animals lose their speech. I fear that we may encounter a dreadfully similar situation".

And suddenly, everyone was silent. The Beavers did not reply to the last point that was made in the argument, but stared at the ground as if in stunned silence. Soon, it began to flurry, and Mr. Beaver spotted a cave where they could spend the night. While they were tucking themselves in bed, Lou tried to bring the subject back up. She said, "Don't you see, Mr. Beaver, that what the prophets are telling you is lies?"

"What's obvious to me", said Mr. Beaver, "is that there are only two sides, Aslan and the Witch, good and evil, and the Lion is obviously good. Therefore, the Witch must be bad. I am not an expert on prophecy, but I have to trust the one who I know is good".

"I am not suggesting that you join the Witch. I'm only pointing out that the prophets obviously have it all wrong. Just think about it. Anything is better than going to the Stone Table to watch an abomination take place, and being taken in by the deception".

"No, I'm not thinking of join the WiZZZZZZZ".

"And we must not join that crazy crowd, either".

"Don't worry, He'll be victorious. ZZZZZZ"

"You're not making much sense".

"He's sleepy", said Suzie. And so am I. I think we should just go to sleep now, and we'll continue this discussion in the morning". 


	4. The Drunken Party

Thank you all for R&R. It's good to know that we all have some things in common. Am I a theologian? I believe it was C S Lewis himself who wrote "Mere Christianity" and once said something to the effect that "anyone can do it". I have read books on apologetics such as "The Case for Faith" and I listen to the Bible Answerman show at oneplace dot com. I have also read the books on Harry Potter, both pro and con, and come to my own convictions on the matter. I thought I would expore things like, are there such things as good witches, and what would it have been like if the White Witch had chosen some other destiny, or things along such lines. Such questions I've found interesting from the fantasy point of view, and I believe that they lie at the root of the Harry Potter debate. But at the same time, I wanted to be faithful to Lewis's intentions for his series. I have just now completed the rough drafts for all my chapters, and there will be seven of them. I will continue updating at the reasonable rate that I have been doing, taking the time to edit, so by the end of the week it should be complete.

I should mention that I had a grandfather who was once an unsuccessful pastor by earthly standards, but I was too young to know him before he passed away due to heart failure, and I had no opportunity to become familiar with his ministry.

I have been very busy writing this fic. I think now I shall devote some time to reading "Travels in Calormen" so I can R&R it.

If anyone has further comments and wants to email me personally, I wouldn't mind.

-

Meanwhile back at the ranch, Ed was trudging his way towards the witch's castle, with conflicting thoughts on his mind. Unlike Edmund, however, he had a real reason for doubts. On one hand, it was certainly clear that the Aslan that his siblings were being taken to was fake. And on the other hand, the evidence was accumulating that the queen really was a Witch. She had conjured up food, so she obviously had magic. So she must be a magician. Ed remembered that Narnia had known some good magicians such as Coriakin and Dr. Cornelius, although it certainly did seem as if the Narnia he was in had entered an alternative timeline after the end of LWW. But all these magicians were men. Ed wondered if it was at all possible that a good magician in Narnia could be a woman. Or was it the case that the male-oriented elements in Narnian culture simply didn't permit women to practice magic? Lucy Pevensie did use one of the spells in Coriakin's book, but she certainly did not become a sorceress. Now there was something magic that was said about Swanwhite, one of Narnia's earlier Queens. But simply having a magical beauty that causes one's reflection to show itself off for days after looking at a pool, and having no other powers, hardly qualifies one as being an enchantress.

Just now, Ed had reached the castle. It looked like some of the higher and pointier towers had worn down and become unused. The more recently built towers had a much more attractive appearance. There was a newly refurbished gate on the south side of the castle, so it was not necessary to go around it. It was being guarded by a wolf. Of course, Ed knew that in some stories he had read, wolves were friends. When the Wolf saw Ed, he said, "So the fortunate favorite of the Queen has come, just as the story goes, and as expected, he hasn't brought his siblings. Well, no matter, the Queen still wants to see you. And so he led Ed through the courtyard and up the stairs to the throneroom. Just as the Queen had said, there were no stone statues to be seen anywhere, but just more wolves who were the Queen's police officers.

Ed was the first one to speak. "Please forgive me, Your Majesty. I was bringing my brother and my sisters with me, but we got robbed as we were passing the Beavers' damn. The rebels allowed me to escape, saying that they needed a traitor".

"That is really bad news. It's becoming even more clear that they want to repeat the sacrifice. I will have nothing to do with that. We must stop them. We have no time to lose". The Queen turned to the Wolf. "Mawdlin, go take a force of a hundred wolves with you to the Beavers' damn and arrest any Beavers, Monkeys, or any other suspicious looking creatures you find, and hold them for interrogations and investigations. Then meet me at the Stone Table".

"But you can't just arrest people without a warrant", said the Wolf.

"A month ago, I made a new law saying that I could issue a warrant in a moment's notice if I thought anyone was suspicious of being associated with the rebels who are responsible for bringing into Narnia creatures illegally from other worlds. It is absolutely necessary for national security reasons. That means if I said you should arrest someone, then you have a warrant. Any more questions?".

"No, your Highness".

And the Wolf did as he was told.

Then the Queen called another servant into the throneroom. As you could expect, he turned out to be a Black Dwarf. Ed gasped. The Queen asked if something was a matter. Ed said, "Are these Black Dwarves your friends?"

"You know there are both good Dwarves and bad Dwarves, if you've read as much as you say you have".

"But I thought that Black Dwarves were the kind who served evil Witches".

"Now, there's no need to be prejudiced. You don't think it's cool in your world if Black humans are judged because of the color of their skin, do you?" Ed was stunned silent. For a moment, his mind drifted towards the Eagles game that disappointed him. "Then let's give our black-haired friends a chance. And would you like something to eat? I think I've figured out a way to conjure up some enchantment-free Turkish Delight".

"Thanks for the thought, but dry bread is just fine with me. My mom gave me some candy last Christmas that was labeled 'Turkish Delight', as a joke, and I didn't think it tasted great. I can't imagine why Edmund was addicted to such a thing".

So the Queen conjured up some bread and water, and the bread was not too dry, and while Ed ate, she commanded her Dwarf to get her sleigh ready. The Queen looked sad and said, "I used to have all sorts of creatures working for me, but so many of them left to join the rebels, and the ones that favor me are mostly Wolves and Dwarves. Along with about ten percent of the Hags, they are about the only people that didn't flee to the North when I ended my mother's evil reign, nor join the rebels. Well, we do get a few exceptions, like Mr. Thomas the Faun, who, unlike most Fauns, remained loyal to me. I try to give everyone a chance, no matter how evil their reputation as a race, or how unpleasing their appearance".

The sleigh ride was cold, and during the early morning hours, a strong March wind picked up and blew in their faces, blurring vision and slowing down travel. They continued to talk about how things in Narnia had been before the Queen's reign and how they got as bad as they were now. The Queen related her sad story about how she was raised by a cruel and abusive mother, who had wanted her daughter to learn her evil ways. Her mother never allowed her to celebrate Christmas. She tried to teach her evil enchantments, and forced her to perform them in order to prove that she was a capable sorceress. She would make her practice turning people into stone and would restore them herself so she could do it again. Whenever she displeased her mother in some way, she would make her sit in a cell which had a view of the torture chambers and watch people being treated in ways that cannot be described. One day, her mother caught her in an act that her mother considered treasonous, that is, secretly conspiring with rebels and setting prisoners free. She got angry and started to use her magic to torture her. But suddenly, the daughter found some magic inside her that she had formerly not known about, and before she knew it, she had killed her mother. Instantly, the rebels who were surrounding her rejoiced, celebrated, and planned her coronation. During the first two years of her reign, she overturned many harsh laws her mother had made, including permitting people to openly celebrate Christmas, restored many people that had been under enchantments, and set many prisoners free. She abolished slavery and the torture chambers. She made the same vows that the good kings and queens of Narnia had made during their coronations, and for a hundred years, all of Narnia believed she was a good queen. And she resented her mother so much that she hated with a passion anything that reminded her of her. For that reason, she changed her name into something she had known some good Narnians to go by. "It always amazed me that people never questioned where I got my magic from, but it's becoming clear that I got it from my mother, and I fear that it may destroy me in the end", the Queen said at length.

Meanwhile, it had dawned, and just then they had come upon a drunken party. "What is this fakery?" demanded the Queen, angrily. "It is certainly not Christmas!"

"But shouldn't we be doing Christmas things all year through?" said a Squirrel.

"There are other holidays to be celebrating besides Christmas! Easter is around the corner, and you should be preparing for it, instead of being stuck on one holiday that has been over a long time ago!"

"But Santa Clause has been here, and he's given us these gifts!"

"Santa Clause? Long before my mother was ruling as a tyrant, we used to call him Father Christmas. While interrogating the illegal immigrants we've captured, I've learned that 'Santa Claus' is what they call him in Oz. Narnia is a British fairy-land, and we should call him what the English call him".

"Well", said a drunk Faun, "the multiverse is getting smaller, ha ha ha".

"I sure hope you don't drive a sledge while you are in this state. Now, why don't you all say you're joking, and I'll take this as an April Fool's joke".

"But Aslan has been here", said the Squirrel. "It has to be Christmas before we see Aslan and he brings the spring".

"You are drunk, and lying, and listening to false prophets!" declared the Queen, in a rage and raising her wand, but the next instant, she thought better of what she was about to do and commanded the Dwarf to drive on.

Ed asked her, "In all the books I've read, Lewis does not make any mention of Easter in Narnia. What's that like?"

"Well, I've been informed that Easter began to be celebrated after the defeat of Jadis I. It was a celebration of Aslan's death and resurrection, which brought about not only Edmund's pardon, but ultimately the salvation of all of Narnia, for without that sacrifice, the prophecy concerning Cair Paravel and the four thrones could not have been fulfilled. When my mother was ruling, she banned it along with Christmas. However, many folks continued to celebrate these holidays in secret, and my mother never figured out the magic that the White Witch had used to keep Father Christmas out of Narnia, so Father Christmas and the Easter Bunny often appeared to people in secret. And these holidays have been permitted to be celebrated openly under my rule".

Just then, Ed noticed the sound of rushing water and birds chirping. He also noticed that it was getting warmer. Soon the sleigh scraped against the rocks. Snow next to the sleigh tracks was beginning to turn into slush. The Queen noticed that Ed seemed to look puzzled. "Don't think it odd that it is beginning to feel like Spring", she said. "Of course it is Spring. It has been unseasonably cold during the last week of March, and we've had some unusual weather. Today is April 1, and it should be getting warmer. March and April weather can be very unpredictable. I've made preparations for possible changes in weather". And with that, the Queen made a gesture, and suddenly the sleigh was turned into a coach with wheels, and the melting snow on the ground was passable. By four o'clock in the afternoon, the temperature had reached the upper 80's, and bare grass and blossoms began to become visible.

When it suddenly became as hot as summer after a late blizzard, you can expect snow to melt fast, but as this was not a supernatural thaw, the snow did not melt as fast as it did in the original story. In fact, patches of snow were still in existence when they arrived at the rebuilt Stone Table in the midst of crowds. Ed noticed some of the flowers were very typical of Spring blossoms. There were, for instance, some forsythia bushes and a few scattered dandelions. But there were no flowers of other seasons, and some of the late-migrating birds were not present. Whereas, one could imagine that in the original story, everything bloomed at once. Soon, more people began to become visible, and most of them were headed in the same direction. Many other coaches, horses and buggies began to appear on the roadway, until you could almost say it was a traffic jam. However, no one dared stay anywhere within eyeshot of the Witch.

"The highway is becoming as crowded as the 95, and cars haven't been invented yet!" remarked Ed.

"This is a very dangerous situation", said the Dwarf. "It means that everyone's headed for the Stone Table. It means that everyone's being deceived. If we go there too, and it comes to a battle, we'll be outnumbered, and we'll be hopeless, unless you think you can be better with your wand than the White Witch. And you don't have all the cruels, hags, woozes, efreets, and ettins on your side, either. I suggest we flee, as the White Witch should have done".

"But you forget, I am a legitimate Queen, and I have made the same vows as the other good rulers have made, and one of these vows was not to act as cowards in battle. There are a few good people left who are not deceived, and if I leave them to the mercy of the rebels, then I would be faithless. Also, Ed's siblings are no doubt in danger, and they will most certainly be taken there. Therefore, we must fight. We must expose the fake Aslan for who he is. Go, take one of the reindeer and call all the good people you can find. Have them gather at the Stone Table, because we may need to do battle".

With that, the Dwarf departed, taking one of the trails through the wooded areas in order to avoid the traffic jams. 


	5. False Prophets

When Mrs. Beaver woke up the children from their sleep in the cave, Mr. Beaver was gone.

"Where is he", Suzie asked.

"He's outside, looking out for enemies. He says he's spotted a sleigh and he wants to see who it is. And oh, what's this?" She picked up a book. " 'Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone'? I don't know if you should be reading this".

"Oh don't worry", said Lou. "My parents don't let us read those books. They say we're too young, and that we may read them when we get older. In fact, Pete will be old enough to read them next year. We just happened to be at our uncle's house the day we left our world, and our uncle was just trying to be nice to us. But I wasn't actually going to disobey my parents by reading the Harry Potter books".

"Well, just be careful. I hear that there are a lot of bad books that teach children things they shouldn't know. And even in our world, not many people are magicians, and not many should be, either".

At the moment, Mr. Beaver came back and said, "It's him! Come on out, it's safe. It's not her, it's him".

Pete responded, "I know it's not her. I've read the original story".

So the children came out of the cave and saw Santa Clause sitting on a sleigh pulled by reindeer. Various animals, Fauns, Dwarves, and other creatures of Narnia were allowing their young ones to come up to his sleigh one by one to receive their gifts. A group of carolers were singing, "Santa Clause Is Coming To Town". Lou thought that this Santa looked no different from the Santa she had seen two months ago at the Christiana Mall. It seemed obvious that someone human had dressed up like him. Perhaps the Witch who was ruling now had not stamped out all humans as the first Witch did. And he seemed just as jolly and secular and stripped of religious significance as most fake Santas are. But the kids said nothing, because they knew that they were in great danger and that there was no easy way out.

When the children had their turn at seeing Santa, they were given gifts resembling superficially the gifts given in the original story. Pete was given a sword, Suzie a summoning horn, and Lou a cordial that supposedly had healing powers. Santa did not give the expected lecture about using the gifts well, but only engaged the children superficially with his stereotypical ho-ho-ho's. He was not even concerned about the fourth child being missing.

As the children climbed down from the sleigh, they noticed Mr. Beaver motioning them to return the the cave. Once he had them inside, he spoke in a serious and worried tone, saying, "Get further inside. We don't want them to overhear us". As they obeyed, the children noticed that he had a worried look on his face. Once he had them deep enough inside the cave, he said, "I have been thinking about our discussion of the meaning of the second sacrifice last night, and I realized that you were right. How foolish have I been to listen to such lies. What they are doing is a great abomination". Tearfully, he added, "I must confess that I kept denying it, even though it was obvious from the things the three of you pointed out last night. Just one look at that fake Santa, with his superficial laughter and cheap gifts, and the evidence was more than I could bear. We need to escape, but I don't know how".

"We could flee to Archenland", suggested Pete.

"Archenlanders are also believing the hype. Besides, even if we could get there, there are too many possibilities for rebels to notice us. They won't expect us to be fleeing, and will no doubt question us. They have been known to take people from among us for questioning, and many of them have never been seen again. I'm beginning to fear that the rumors about them opening doors to other worlds may be true. And even if we escape the rebels, we'll likely be caught by the secret police. I don't expect that the Witch is on our side, either. Sometimes when there is a conflict, it isn't the ultimate battle of good versus evil, and both sides are just as wrong. In cases like this, the real perpetrators are deceiving both sides. We must from now on hold fast to what we know is right, and not allow anyone to mislead us in any way. I would suggest that we go along with the crowd at the stone table, and as soon as there's chaos, try to flee while everyone is distracted. It's the only plan I can think of. Also, the Witch may by then have gathered all of her forces at the site, leaving none of them to stop our flight".

"But", said Mrs. Beaver, "what if the opportunity we are looking for simply doesn't happen like we expect it to? What if they trap us and there is no escape? I just shudder at the thought of being present when the unspeakable thing happens".

"Well, I've been praying about it", said Lou, "and while I have received no magical answers, I have gained comfort, and I am convinced that the worst that can happen to us is death. Also, in my world, people have died for refusing to renounce the one in whom they believe. I don't see why it's any different here".

"You make a good point", said Mr. Beaver. "The worst thing that they can do is kill us, and then we'll be with Aslan. That's what we learned when Jadis II persecuted us. Just try not to look, and if possible, flee, is all I can say".

And so they continued their journey.

As they walked, it got warm and the snow began to melt. They found that they frequently had to walk through puddles, and the cold water chilled their feet as it leaked through their boots. "Something doesn't feel right about this change in weather", commented Mr. Beaver. "All the flowers that are appearing where the snow has melted are in season. Last time Aslan came, it was reported that flowers of every season bloomed at once". Soon, it got so warm that they were no longer comfortable in the coats, yet at the same time, they could not take off their boots because of the patches of slush that they had to walk though. The path along which they walked got crowded as more people entered. "I've never seen so many people, horses, and carriages", said Lou. "Where I live, even the most traveled highway in the country isn't this busy".

It was evening by the time they reached the vicinity of the Stone Table. The crowds had gotten so thick that they hardly moved at all. It was as if everyone was waiting in line to see Aslan. Soon, dark clouds appeared in the sky, and there were flashes of lightning. A brief hailstorm passed by. When it was over, the crowds moved slightly. Soon a Mouse who was acting as an usher appeared and directed the Beavers and the children to the place where they were to sit or stand or wait while the atmosphere of expectation intensified. Where they were being seated, they passed a tree that had been uprooted. The Mouse commented that the thunderstorm that just passed had spawned a tornado which had touched down at that spot. He added, "When the tornado dissipated, it revealed a strange man who had a tatoo in the shape of an eye on his ankle. When asked to identify himself, he said he was a volunteer for some secret organization. Strange things have been happening lately, and people have been appearing from other worlds all over the place. I can't wait till Aslan appears and reveals the meaning behind all of this".

Where they were seated, they had a breathtaking view of the rebuilt Stone Table. The Beavers commented that they never dreamed in all their life that the Table would live to see the day it would be rebuilt in all its former glory. But at that moment, a figure ten feet from the table suddenly stood up and cried in a loud voice a disconcerting message which the crowd was unpleased to hear. The creature appeared to Lou very much as she had imagined Bacchus to have appeared when Lewis had described him leading the overthow of Miraz, that is, her hair being suggestive of trees branching out and bearing leaves. She said, "Do not listen to the prophets who are prophesying to you. They are leading you into futility; they speak a vision of their own imagination, not from the mouth of the Lord". As the crowd fell into a stunned silence, she added, "This table should not be here. Aslan has not commissioned it to be rebuilt. I am calling you to repent. Do not listen to your prophets. While they lying to you, they disrespect authority. While they accuse the innocent of witchcraft, they are meanwhile themselves conspiring with witches and demons". She was now interrupted by the boos and hisses of the crowd. Orders to kill her could be barely heard above the noise. Soon two Weasels with axes arrived at the tree that the children had passed just before being seated. They hacked away at the tree, chopping it into halves, and then into quarters. The dryad at the Table became breatless and soon gave up the ghost. It was evidently her tree that was being chopped down.

The Weasels now engaged in sordid gossip. "Who could that loony prophetess be?" one of them asked the other.

"That would be Eostre", came the reply. "She has always been negative".

Suddenly, the first Weasel looked at Pete and said, "Aren't you the eldest child, and isn't that sword your gift from Santa? Look behind you!"

Pete turned and saw that a Wolf was spying on them from behind another tree. He hadn't noticed that where they were seated had somehow been at the back of the crowd, and that so far, not one new row was seated behind them. The Weasels continued to stare at him expectingly. Pete knew what it was they expected him to do. So he drew his sword and approached the Wolf. The Wolf said, "Did the fake Santa give you that?"

"Yes".

"I'd put it down if I were you. It's probably associated with some evil enchantment".

Pete couldn't help hesitating, and before he could decide what to do, the Wolf fled into a grove of trees and was not to be seen again. 


	6. Treason

almostinsane, I've been looking for you online. Where are you? It's now 7:10 PM along the I-95 corridor. If you're on the other side of the country, you should be online right now. My AIM is jasonc65.

-

Not far from the place where the three McKenzies sat, the Witch was gathering her army. It consisted mainly of ferocious Wolves, Eagles, Bats, Black Dwarves, and a fewer Red Dwarves. Most of the creatures that traditionally sided with Aslan were absent, but there were a few notable exceptions. Of particular interest were the Lions and Tigers. They seemed to be offended that the Great Lion that they had fought alongside with centuries ago was now being blasphemed. Unfortunately, some of the ugly and unattractive creatures who had fought with the White Witch were also present, particularly the Hags, who were more notorious for their appearance than anything else about them. Some of these creatures claimed that they had seen the evil of their ways and wanted a chance to repent, and the Witch who now ruled was more than happy to oblige.

Presently, a Centaur approached. "The Lion wishes to see you at the Stone Table".

"Aslan can't be here", came the reply.

"You have always said we were lying. Come now and see for yourself. If you obey, your punishment will be less severe. And bring the traitor with you".

Ed shuddered. He knew of course that the Centaur meant him.

The Witch did as the Centaur had asked. When they reached the pavillions, the Centaur asked the Witch to leave her wand at a certain spot. The Witch refused, saying, "I defy your fake Aslan!" As more Centaurs, Dryads, and Dwarves approached, the Witch did not hesitate to use her wand. A few people turned to stone, and the rest backed away in fear. The Witch grabbed Ed's hand and rushed to the Stone table, where a Lion apparently was standing, looking noble and dignified.

That the Witch could stare in the Lion's face in defiance was shocking. It wasn't expected that she could do more than stand on her own two feet and look him in the eye.

The Lion said, "You are not fulfilling your job description".

"How so? What is my job? Is it not to rule my people with justice and to keep the peace?"

"Your job is to be an accuser of my people. You know that you have a traitor with you. Why do you not accuse him?"

"What for? What has he done to me?"

"It's not about what he has done to you personally, but about the good of Narnia. He has betrayed me. Therefore, his blood belongs to you as your rightful property. Why not take it?"

"Well, maybe I don't want to".

"But if you do not have blood, then Narnia will be overturned and perish in fire and water".

"But have you forgotten the Deeper Magic?"

"I have not forgotten the Deep Magic. If your traitor is not killed, and someone innocent does not die in his place, Narnia will be overturned".

"You know the Deep Magic, but yet not know the Deeper Magic? Do you not know what was spoken even before the Dawn of Time, before any one of us who was born can ever remember? It says that if one who is innocent is killed in a traitor's stead, the Table would crack and death itself would start working backwards. When the real Aslan gave his life for Edmund, that condition was fulfilled. The Table cracked, and Aslan himself came back to life. Since then, the Table has lain in ruins and has not been used. Though there have been traitors, there have been no sacrifices. So why invoke them now?"

"Because as it was back then, it shall be now".

"But that doesn't answer the question, why must there be another sacrifice?" After a moment of silence, the Witch said, "I see you have no answer, and it is no wonder, because you are not the real Aslan. You are fake!"

With a wicked laugh, the Lion replied, "Am I fake? Let's prove it. Let's have a magical duel. If I'm real, you will surely lose, but if I'm fake, then perhaps you might have a chance against me".

But the Witch couldn't take anymore of this, so the next instant, she waved her wand, and instantly the Lion was transformed into a Monkey. "Behold, your Aslan!" shouted the Witch.

Cries rang out from the crowd. Some people could be heard saying things like, "Treason!" "Blasphemy!" "They've lied to us!" and "He's fake!" Centaurs, Dwarves, Dryads, river gods, and Talking Animals took up swords and made threatening gestures at each other. Some creatures who either had hardened their hearts or were conspiracy insiders charged at the Witch. The Witch was quick with her wand, and they were revealed to be Cruels, Hags, Ogres, Orkneys, People of the Toadstools, Efreets, Woozes, and Ettins, the very kind of people that usually supported Witches, while other creatures remained themselves after being hit with spells. Actual fighting now broke out. People now seemed to have some idea about whose side they were on, and it appeared that the ones who had come to a rude awakening now forgot that their Queen was a Witch and fought on her side. Soon, the Wolves, Dwarves, and creatures in the Witch's army joined the fight. Eagles swooped down from the sky and intercepted many of the enemy's charges. It was very unusual to see Hag fighting against Hag, Talking Lion against Talking Bear, Dryad against Centaur, Beaver against Weasel, and a Witch turning her own kind to stone. And as you could imagine, it was an ugly mess. If I went into any more detail to describe what took place, this fic would be underrated. Therefore, I shall leave it to the reader to imagine for himself the horror Ed must have felt from his vantage point, disguised as a stump, watching the slaughter around him.

I need not cite the statistics on the casualties of the battle. I need only mention that Lou's cordial was unfortunately of no use to her but of much use to the enemy. As soon as the battle ebbed and the three children felt it was safe to leave their hiding place, which was in fact the same place where Susan and Lucy had hid while Aslan was being slain, Lou was reminded that there were people dying and that she had a cordial just like Lucy's. But at that instant, another thought occurred to Lou. If the Wolf was right about Pete's sword having some dark magic, the same might be true of her cordial. She shuddered at the thought of what might happen if someone tried to use it. So she immediately opened it, turned it over, and began dumping its contents onto the ground. But as it was pouring, a Hag caught her by the arm and said, "I'll take that!". And with that, she grabbed the cordial and started applying it to people who were already dead. They instantly became undead and started killing people at the Hag's bidding. And if you've seen enough horror movies, you know that undead things don't die when you stab them with swords. In the end, it was only the Witch with her wand who could stop them.

-

A/N: I know this chapter was brief, but the climax has been reached at last, and I promise you the conclusion will be posted, soon. 


	7. Chaos

Just when it seemed that the battle was over with the Witch firmly in control, the four McKenzies reunited, and the Beavers contemplating flight, it happened. The land shuddered, the earth cracked, and it appeared that Narnia was being overturned. The land split up into fragments that floated in space, seemingly unaware of each other's gravity, yet appearing to each have a gravity of its own, holding its people and trees and structures intact. They mixed with fragments from other worlds such as Oz and Middle Earth. They saw pieces of the forest of Lothlorien, with frightened-looking Elves. Needless to say, the children could not recognize Gimli the Dwarf, as he did not look as the movie portrayed him. Try as she might, Galadriel could do nothing with her fading Elf Magic. Then all the weird creatures from Oz floated by, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, the Lion showing great intrepidation, pieces of broken china some of which could talk, the Glass Cat, the Woozy, and the Sawhorse. A beautiful redhead with blue eyes could be seen in what used to be part of her palace, appearing to be muttering an incantation, trying to work against the dark sorcery that was destroying her world and all the other worlds. The round houses that Baum described could be seen floating around on pieces of forest and glade, not all of them the same color.

Then there was a piece of the real world that the children recognized. It was the huge interchange along I-95 not far south of Philly, where two other interstate highways converge, with ramps connecting onto a fourth freeway. As could be expected, traffic going south along I-95 was slowed down to a crawl, as seven lanes were merging into just four. Cars simply skittered off the edge of the patch and disappeared, their drivers appearing to be oblivious of the situation and still thinking they were headed for Baltimore, as the road signs had clearly indicated. A billboard was promoting the movie based on "The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe" that was destined to come out next December. Meanwhile, across a mile-wide median, northbound traffic was going at 60 miles an hour, splitting into two streams at the fork that appeared just before the twin spans converged. Interestingly enough, the signs for I-95 did not indicate Philadelphia. There were four speed limit signs just beyond the fork, the two on the right being electronic and indicating 65. The children could vaguely recall observing those signs while their mother was driving them home from Christmas shopping last year. They were of course too young to know much about roads, unless they were obsessed about them and had asked their mother lots of questions. But they knew enough to recognize the interchange as part of their world. Traffic reports on the radio had very frequently reported this very interchange as a notorious traffic jam spot, something to be avoided during rush hour, while shopping, or while coming home from the beach.

Before the children could reflect anymore on this, there appeared a scene from yet another world. There was what appeared to be a dairy farm next to a lake. Cows were lowing on the field, and a sign next the main building with an eye-shaped insignia read, "Valorous Farms Dairy". A bewildered man walked out the door with a cell phone and cried, "The world's a riot here!"

At this point, they saw another patch of the world from which their own patch was broken off. They came close. Dwarves and Talking Animals appeared frightened enough to call upon all the rocks from all the worlds to fall on them and surround them in all twenty-six dimensions.

The real Aslan now appeared with a great tremulous roar at the sound of which all the patches of all of the worlds, including Narnia, Oz, Middle Earth, the real world, and Snicketworld, began to organize themselves into their proper relations, much as one might try to fit a jigsaw puzzle. Patches of Lothlorien came back together, houses of at least five different colors seemed to organize themselves into color groups, the interchange vanished and could no longer be seen, and pieces of Lake Lachrymose poured into each other, exposing the the Leeches momentarily as they churned and splashed. Then all of Narnia went back together with a jolt, and the next moment, it seemed as if the chaos never happened. All that could be seen was the fields, forests and hills surrounding the Stone Table, and what was left of the armies that had fought there. Not a patch of another world was to be seen. Narnia proper was not mixed with Archenland, Calormen, or any other part of its world, but everything seemed to be back to normal. Aslan himself descended at the Stone Table, and with one swipe of his paw, demolished it.

While all this was happening, the people were so frightened that no fighting occurred. The battle that preceded the chaos accounted for all the casualties. Aslan had everything in order. He called the McKenzies, the Beavers, and the Witch to come forward. The Witch appeared to be very submissive as she bowed before him. He explained that the reason for the chaos was all the magic workers trying at once to open doorways into other worlds in order to bring in reinforcements while they were losing the battle, and that it was very fortunate that some good magicians from other worlds were working against the effects, as otherwise certain destruction would have been the result. "Which is why", he said, "no one should seek to travel between worlds by their own magic. Many people have read about other worlds and have had fun adventures fantasizing about being part of them. Some have written stories in which they have inserted themselves as one of the main characters. They have become over-sensitive to criticism and annoyed other fans with their near-perfect characters and their hackneyed plot formulas, not to mention that some of their content was not suitable for children. But when it goes so far that one resorts to dark magic to literally enter another world, and not just read or write about it, then it has gone too far.

"It is for this reason that a great evil entered into Narnia in the very beginning. An evil Witch had destroyed her own world in order to conquer it, and since she had no people left to rule, she sought to enter another world she could conquer. She was helped inadvertently by two children who thought traveling to other worlds was innocent fun and games. Long after I had defeated this Witch at my previous visitation, and the Golden Age had passed, another evil Witch discovered this world by her dark magic and forced her way in. She knew that since she was no Daughter of Eve, she had no ties to the throne. In order to legitimize her dynasty, she raped the former king, murdering him once she knew she was pregnant. When the product of that dispiccable action was born, she taught her her evil ways, which her daughter rejected. Then the fateful day came when her daughter killed her in self-defense. She has ruled Narnia as a good Queen since that day. Her laws were just, and she used her magic responsibly. Meanwhile, the spirit of her wicked mother wanted revenge.

"Although some of the Cruels, Hags, and other dismal creatures have repented, most of them have fled to the North where they have practiced dark magic, calling up the evil spirit of the Witch they served. They discovered how to open doors to the other worlds that you have just seen. They even opened the door to the nonmagical world from which these children have come. They have caused people to come here by being blown by whirlwinds, drifting too far out to sea, entering black holes in outer space, where the flow of time is always towards the singularity, or by reaching too far into their closets. Indeed, I have called people into other worlds by such means, but no one should attempt them on their own power. They transformed themselves into the appearance of more attractive creatures and deceived my people with false prophesies and accusations, even going so far as to parody my sacrifice which once saved Narnia from being overturned.

"Now, I must say that the McKenzies will not be ruling on four thrones as the Pevensies once did, for they were not called here for that purpose. They shall be returned home. Jadis II was not completely successful in stamping out all humans, so a new dynasty will be established from what remains of humanity in Narnia. As for the Queen herself, she shall go to the world from which her mother came, for in that world, there used to be good witches. There, she can help the people of that world pick up the broken pieces from the time her cruel mother used to rule them. The Hags who have repented may live in this world as long as they keep to unpopulated areas or to the North and do not return to their former ways".

The McKenzies were allowed to remain in Narnia for some time and have tea with Fauns, Dwarves, Satyrs, and Talking Animals. And they had some good times. But the time soon came that they must say goodbye to the former Queen, and to the good King and Queen who were now ruling, and to the Beavers, and to Mr. Thomas the Faun, and to all the good creatures they had come to know. The last day they were in Narnia, they were with Mr. Thomas in his home at Lantern Waste. He led them past the lamp-post and to the thicket, where the children knew that by Aslan's will, the door to their world would be opened for the last time. Once inside the thicket, the children felt the hard wood on the walls of their closet and brushed up against the hanging coats. They could hear Professor saying, "It was only an accident. I'm sure the kids didn't mean it". He was clearly soothing the housemaid, who they remembered had been upset over a broken glass cat. They opened the door of their closet, which they had not been afraid to shut, since unlike the door to the wardrobe through which the Pevensies entered Narnia, this closet door had a knob that turned from both sides, and it did not lock from the outside. As they stepped out of the closet, they apologized for the accident. Having been soothed and having had time to collect herself, the housemaid forgave them. The kids would eventually make it all good by buying her another trinket to replace the one they broke. Since it was now 10:30 on the night they had left their world, the Professor led them to their bedrooms.

The professor said, "You look like you've had quite an adventure. You don't look the way you did just three minutes ago, and that was all the time you were in that closet".

"Well", said Pete, "it turns out that the younger kids were right. We had some adventure, watching a parody of one of our favorite stories unfold right before our very eyes. And I don't expect we'll be going back".

"I believe you. I won't be expecting you'll return to that world, either".

"Have you been to Narnia, Professor?" said Lou.

"I have, and I'll tell you about it later. But it's getting late, and we should be getting to bed".

The next morning, during breakfast, the Professor received a call from their dad, saying that he was just now released from service and was returning home from the war. He would be at the Philadelphia International Airport at 4:00, take the shuttle home, and as soon as he could, he'd drive down to pick up the kids.

He then asked the kids what their adventure was like, and when the kids had explained about the parody, he said, "When I was there, it was also a parody".

"What story was it based on?" asked Ed.

" 'The Magician's Nephew' ".

News reports said nothing of the incident in which part of the interstate network broke off from the real world, other than a few spurious rumors of UFO sightings, for much the same reason that Muggles are oblivious to magic. No mysterious deaths, missing people or missing cars were reported, as apparently, the magic had not impacted the real world to the extent it had the magical worlds.

Their father arrived at 7:30 PM to take the children home. The traffic was not bad anywhere within city limits, nor at the 476 split, where most of the traffic stays on the 95 and usually has to slow down in order to get in lane, nor on the outdated side street where their exit let off. And it can indeed be said that many of the narrow, two-laned roads in Pennsylvania are long overdue for widening. But their trip home was uneventful. By next Sunday, their mother was home from LA.

For years afterwards, when the oldest of them were being allowed to read Harry Potter, while their parents were using it as a springboard and opportunity to teach them the difference between fantasy and reality and the wisdom to flee from the occult wherever it might rear its ugly head, they would have fun talking about their adventures in Narnia, discussing its spirituality, and making up new adventures of their own, some of which crossed over into Middle Earth. When they were teens, they would get on the internet and read fan fiction. They eventually decided to post their own adventure as a fan-written story about Narnia, and as the best stories are usually the stories that actually take place in some reality, you can be sure that their story got rave reviews all over fanfiction dot net.

THE END 


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